10 Attenuating Attitudes

Some attitudes or states of mind exhaust us both physically and mentally. In this article, we present ten energy-depleting attitudes that we sometimes adopt unnoticed. As a result, we waste energy on worrying and negative thoughts that make us feel bad.

After all, we humans are energetic beings. Energy is the fuel that motivates and helps us to take advantage of all the opportunities in our lives.

Energy makes us do the things we want to do and succeed. According to the World Health Organization, “energy is essential to meet basic needs”.

Do you feel mentally exhausted, are your motivations lost and anxious? Do you feel like you don’t have the energy to do the things you need, or the things you want to do? If these things seem familiar, you may have adopted negative attitudes. Below we list ten such attenuating attitudes.

1. Living in the past

Living in the past means reliving things that have already happened. You want to go back to a certain time, to the way things were before. Unfortunately, the past cannot be changed. It is not possible to change what has already happened.

But the present and the future are in your hands right now. Being stuck in the past instead of focusing on the present is mentally exhausting. Wouldn’t it be healthier to use energy for something you can change? You have the power to change the present. Use your resources and energy for the moment instead of living in the past.

2. Guilt

Author Patti Breitman said in his book How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty: And Say Yes to More Time, More Joy, and What Matters Most to You,  that guilt requires a lot of energy. So accepting the past and being free from all guilt will allow you to live in the present and plan for the future.

3. No confidence

Why is it so hard to say no? So many people are used to giving and doing things just to please others. People are afraid to say “no” because they don’t want to be selfish or against others.

If you always say yes, you have time for others, but never for yourself. You will forget yourself to please others. If you don’t know how to say “no,” your mental and emotional energy will run out quickly. When you always do things for others, your own needs and wants will be left behind.

4. Inability to ask for help

There is always someone who would rather kill themselves before asking for help in solving a problem. Some people even prefer to fail rather than allow others to take part in their project.

Smart resource management means knowing how to delegate, how to ask for help, and how to get advice when solving problems is too difficult on your own. This is especially true in the modern world. We no longer live in a livelihood economy. Instead, everyone specializes in one particular service, leaving everything else to others.

5. Excessive worry

Much of what you’re worried about has to do with what might happen in the future. This begs the question: does it make any sense to be anxious about things that have not yet happened?

People who tend to worry spend a large portion of their psychic resources thinking “what if”. Worrying about everything that might happen is an energy-depleting attitude. Thinking about things that haven’t happened yet is wasting a lot of time.

6. Complaining

Psychologist Joan Garriga has written that “complaining lowers people’s vitality”. Constantly complaining about things that are happening in your life is also an energy-depleting attitude.

The downward spiral of complaint is completely unproductive. It paralyzes and prevents you from doing anything good in your time.

Complaints can sometimes be used as a way to let out fumes or as a way to escape from what you are currently experiencing. It allows you to ventilate in a certain way. But when you get stuck complaining, you waste a lot of energy.

7. Postponement of cases

Sometimes you postpone plans or responsibilities because you don’t want to do them. Leaving things for tomorrow is like piling up storm clouds. Eventually, all of these will come to port on you and create negative situations in your life.

8. Always just seeing negative things

If your glass is always half empty and you always think bad things are going to happen, or that things are not going well, you will develop a bad attitude.

This becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Sociologist Robert K. Merton writes,  “A self-fulfilling prediction is at first a false definition of a situation, and it creates a new behavior that ultimately makes a false observation true in the end. The special validity of a self-fulfilling prediction prolongs the error. ” So according to Merton, if you think something is going wrong, it’s probably going to go wrong, too.

9. Striving to control everything

Trying to control everything can be exhausting. This kind of really requires a great deal of effort, which is ultimately futile, because after all, there are so many things you can’t control. This energy-reducing attitude causes frustration and anxiety because you will never be able to control everything.

It is impossible to make everything be the way you want it to be. However, do not live in any bubble. The people and things around you always affect your life.

10. You don’t allow yourself to stop and rest

Let’s look at another energy-depleting attitude. Sitting on the couch, relaxing in the shower, watching a movie with your spouse, reading or playing with a loved one… There are so many different ways to stop and break away from the world, and doing this is really important for your health and well-being. Maslow expresses in his hierarchy of human needs that rest is a necessary part of this equation.

Finally, remember that a life of worry and fear leads to suffering. Instead, try to laugh, cry, love and feel. If you worry a lot about how things could have been or complain about things you can’t change, you will forget the present moment. You cannot enjoy the feeling of the present moment.