4 Signs Of A Harmful Relationship
It is not easy to pinpoint the factors associated with a harmful relationship, as the same criteria for harmful behavior do not apply to all relationships. But if we want to define the matter strictly, harm happens if one person forces, is aggressive, or threatens another.
A relationship is harmful when one person exercises his or her dominant position or dominates the other by controlling the use of the other to get his or her own needs met. A relationship is harmful when another person exploits another person’s mental or physical vulnerability for their own benefit. It is also a matter of harm when one person is dependent on another and their dependence is used to force or restrict their freedom to act.
Sometimes the damage is not obvious because it is not based on hitting or shouting. Sometimes it is a systematic process of disabling, manipulating, and blackmail, in which a person becomes incapacitated, unable to respond, to decide freely. And the injurious person justifies his actions by claiming to love his partner or that he wants only his best.
But in reality, in all cases, the damage leaves scars on the heart and mind. It colors life with fear. Therefore, you should be aware of the signs that indicate that you are in a harmful relationship.
1. Fear: an infallible sign of a damaging relationship
Fear is probably the clearest sign of any damaging relationship. Sometimes fear is brutal and obvious. You become very excited with another person and constantly think about the punishments or consequences that may follow from resisting him.
Sometimes fear is less noticeable. It may present as an excessive need to please another. You don’t want to give him a reason to get angry, so you always think about what you can do to make him happy.
2. Excessive control over what you do
In a damaging relationship, the injured person must always tell his injurer what he is doing, and even what he is thinking or feeling. You feel that you do not have the freedom to move or act without consulting or informing about it in advance.
Control can extend to your finances, and even how you dress and what you do to your hair. Virtually everything you do needs to be accepted by him, and if that doesn’t happen, you’ll be tough for that reason.
3. You feel constant guilt
Guilt is always present in all kinds of harmful relationships. You feel inadequate and unable to defend the validity of what you do and say. Your harm is constantly criticizing you, and you blame yourself for it.
One, or both, of the following situations may occur. Either it always feels like the other person is always right, and his or her criteria determine how good or bad each one of your actions and thoughts is, or you think he or she is wrong but you dare not go against him or her. Both situations make you feel guilty. In the first case, because you do not meet his expectations. In another because you are unable to set boundaries.
4. Threats and blackmail are constant
In a damaging relationship, your harm obliges you to constantly do things you don’t want to do. He might do it through outright aggression, or through more subtle blackmail and intimidation. Anyway, the bottom line is you don’t want to do it, but you feel obligated because he puts pressure on you.
Your damage knows very well where his power comes from. If it is related to financial dependence, his direct or indirect threats focus on it. If it’s about the fear of being beaten, he uses it. If he gets his strength from mental addiction, he’s playing with your fear of being rejected. And so on.
