5 Uses That Reveal A Lack Of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a skill that is valued more and more. Little by little, it has been proven that it defines how we live. Those with whom it develops are more successful in all aspects of life, but above all also happier.

In contrast, the lack of emotional intelligence brings with it many additional problems. It doesn’t matter if you can solve a modern physics problem if, in the end, though, you feel frustrated. Who cares that you can earn a lot if at the end of the day you are shackled to anxiety and grief.

Having emotional intelligence does not mean success in everything. Nor does it mean that you will become the most charming or popular of all. This skill is more about self-esteem and confidence. These are attitudes that are developed internally, but which are reflected in our external behavior and bring with them more determined attitudes.

At the same time,  some characteristics of the lack of emotional intelligence are constantly present. They are seen every day in people who are obviously successful, as well as in those who are not. We are now talking about five such characteristics that are increasingly common for lack of emotional intelligence.

1. Stress when someone doesn’t understand what you’re explaining

People like that get really tense when someone doesn’t understand what they’re trying to say. The worst part is that they end up blaming that other person for it. They use phrases like “is it really that hard to understand?” or “anyone would understand it.” In this way, the intense situation becomes aggressive.

This characteristic reveals that the person is really stiff and smug. They are the ones who have a hard time understanding that there are different ways to process and absorb information. Nor do they consider the possibility that their explanation might be flawed. They end up causing damage in a situation that could have been resolved with just a couple of minutes of patience.

2. Mocking everyone else and believing that they should accept it

There is a big difference between laughing with someone and laughing at someone. Those who have developed their emotional intelligence recognize this difference. But on top of that, they also manage to sense when a joke causes discomfort.

If emotional intelligence is not used, people will end up blaming others. They think that if the other can’t stand the joke, it’s because he’s “bitter” or hypersensitive. They don’t even mind that their jokes might not be that funny, or that they would be offensive. Or simply that others would be different from them, and others would not have to accept all of their jokes.

3. Refusal to consider different opinions

In our long-term development, we all adapt to something called the “method of faith”. These are thoughts that come from the education we receive, as well as from our experiences and our own personalities. We form a perception of reality that serves as a reference for us.

However,  in some cases, this method of faith can become a shell. In such a case, our worldview is no longer the fruit of personal development, but rather an unresolved neurosis. For that reason, any opinion that differs from our own is considered a threat. Even before analyzing its accuracy.

4. Blaming others for their own difficulties

This characteristic can be summed up by a biblical circular expression of how one can see the rich in the eye of another, but not the firewood in his own. There are difficulties that are entirely our own, but there are also those that are shared with a partner, in a group, or in a family. Sometimes there are people in that environment who, by the time things go wrong, put the cause on the necks of others.

This is a trait left over from the uncertainty of childhood. The person first thinks that the mistake is something destructive. Second, that the goal is to decide who is wrong and not what goes wrong. Those with better spiritual development see the error as  quite normal, and when it is better understood, it is an opportunity for personal growth. Instead of looking for someone to blame, they are looking for reasons and solutions. 

5. Hating their work

Most of us spend a huge amount of our lives working. This is a reality we cannot avoid. While it is not the only aspect of our existence, it takes a lot of our time as well as energy, and it would be wrong to see it as just a duty.

Every job, be it easy or difficult, supports its author. When it comes to the work we hate that we just can’t stand anymore, it makes no sense to keep doing it. Everyone should promise themselves that they will look for and find a job that will allow them to grow  in some way.

Emotional intelligence can be developed. For some it is easier, for others not so much. But the truth is that  all people have the right and obligation to live a better life. Therefore, it is worth the effort to increase the share of our intelligence, which we can then add to our actions.