Being An Only Child: A Burden Or A Privilege?

The single child part has been the subject of much controversy, especially in recent years when many couples no longer want numerous children. It is true that siblings are a great gift in life. But it is also true that mothers and fathers play so many roles today that they may not feel able to devote all those years to raising several children.

Some time ago, a large family was an indisputable advantage. The mothers stayed at home and took on most of the responsibility of raising the children. But in this century, things are different. It is clear that mothers also have to go into gainful employment, and therefore they can only devote part of their time to raising their children. Sometimes that part of the time is very small.

Couples are no longer so stable and have less support from a large family. It is common for an older sibling to end up raising a younger one. It is also common for someone from outside the family to raise all the children. And this person does not always guarantee good education and upbringing. And therefore, they can never replace a child’s real parents.

The benefits of being an only child

Undoubtedly, being an only child offers great benefits. While they have a reputation as a selfish and whimsical child, this may not be the case. If they are grown well, they will mature and grow in a healthy way. Several factors are on their side:

• The only child gets more attention from their parents. They don’t have to share their time and worries among many children. Therefore, they can be better at their “job” as parents. That special attention almost invariably gives the only child greater self-confidence and higher self-esteem.
• They tend to develop faster intellectually. Because the only child is in contact with mostly adults, especially in their first years, it is common for them to have faster linguistic and mental development than other children.

• People who were the only children are almost always more systematic and responsible. Because they do not live with other children, they adopt order and way of working from their parents. Usually they know how to do their duty and try to keep things in order.
• Only children know how to adapt to being alone and they develop hobbies that require intellectual work. Being alone is negative only when it means lack of support or understanding. It can be very positive when it helps people feel better and become more independent. It is not uncommon for only children to be interested in reading. Or painting or some other activity they can do independently.

Disadvantages of being an only child

While being a single child offers greater dedication from parents and better financial security, it can also bring with it difficulties. The siblings take attention and bring with them competition, but they also bring important lessons about maturity. Therefore, here are some disadvantages of lack of siblings:

• The only child is usually more self-centered. They have a hard time realizing that everyone has their own turn in the game. They don’t realize that parents don’t celebrate every thing they do. Sometimes they may have difficulty adjusting to groups.
• Sometimes they ripen too fast. This would not be a negative thing if maturity, when it comes, does not bring about a decrease in spontaneity as well. This results in them not being so happy. It can be hard for them to allow themselves to be “fools”. Even if adults enjoy this, it can lead to these children growing too stiff.
• They have a hard time being generous. It is normal for them to think that everyone takes care of their own problems and solves their own needs. It is difficult for them to share what they have, both materially and mentally. They don’t “open up” to others easily.

• Only children may become prepared because they cannot share their experiences with their peers at home. They may have strong confidence in their parents, but this never replaces the inclusion and intimacy that a person can experience with their siblings. Therefore, they may become prepared and distant. It is also possible that they will not develop into good conflict settlers.

Both single children and children with siblings can develop in a healthy way if they have a good upbringing. In the case of a single child, it is important that the parents understand to offer the child situations in which he or she shares and interacts with other peers.

It is also important that parents give up overprotection and excessive control. In this way, the only child gets the most out of their position and avoids experiencing potential disadvantages.