Dad Never Stops Being A Father

The role of the father has changed in recent years, and today the role of the father is not as precisely defined as before. In the old days, the role of the father was much clearer. The fathers were financially important, and their word was the law. They were like the voice of authority, but they did not take so much part in the upbringing of the children and even less did they take part in the housework. When things were like this, everything seemed to be in order.

Recent decades have radically changed the image of man, and of course at the same time, the image of what fathers should be like. But in spite of everything, in the past as well as now, fathers have always felt involved in the success of their children.

In the past, fathers were concerned about raising children to be honest and hard-working citizens. Today, using a similar logic, fathers have become a kind of leader. In addition to wanting their children to grow up to be decent citizens, they also want their children to be good at some particular topic, such as sports.

This is sought e.g. at any of the kids ’tournaments on the weekends. There, fathers are always involved in the background, leading their children so that their children are the best in their own actions.  Some fathers take part in such activities so much that they even focus all their child care on these goals, leaving no room for love. Such parents reflect their own fantasies about the success of their children. Up to a certain limit, they stop being a father, so to speak, to be the personal coaches of their children.

Direct and indirect pressures from the father

For many fathers, it is a challenge to notice the differences between how to raise a happy child and how to have a successful child. For many, those two words are synonymous. Therefore, in good faith, they try to focus their children’s education on different achievements, especially when this means competition.

Such fathers want to be proud of their children’s accomplishments. And sometimes they can’t distinguish their own desires from the desires of their children. And children, in general, want to meet the expectations of their parents. And that’s how kids learn to recognize their parents ’satisfaction with their smiles and facial expressions, getting full scores from trials, scoring a goal in football, running faster than others, or getting a medal. When a child makes their father feel proud, the child becomes more confident. In this way, children more easily give in to acceptance and criticism.

Often, if a child does not stand out from the crowd in some particular activity, disagreements arise between the child and the father. A father may not blame his child, but often they may blame.
They don’t even try to hide their disappointment. Often, fathers may, due to disappointment, take the distance between their children.

A father who has not finished self-education

Fathers who fall into this category are really like little children trying to clean up their own reputation. It is possible that they have experienced similar treatment as a child. Their parents had once set high expectations for their children that the child could not meet.

Now their own children remind them of what they had been like when they were young. Fathers, so to speak, want to “fix” where they themselves failed as children. They want to fix the one thing that prevented them from being the “Messi” of their team, or the prodigy of their class, always with perfect grades, or the wealthiest businessman.
They think they are in debt, and because of that, pass on their own failure to their own children. Fathers do this subconsciously, and of course in a purely good sense. Fathers believe that their desire is to make their children better than they themselves once were. Deep down, they want a more perfect
life for their children .

The problem with this whole equation is that the deciding factor is completely missing: namely, true love. It’s the love that makes it possible to progress, timing, and appreciate mistakes. It is also the love that fundamentally accepts the other as he is, even with all his ills: success, mistakes, victories, and failures.

The love of a “leader” can also be great, but it doesn’t make it any less selfish. Such a father is more interested in his own happiness than in the well-being of his own child . First, the father must offer his hand, which fills his child with confidence and certainty. With the certainty that whatever the circumstances, the child is valued and loved. Children deserve recognition for their accomplishments, as well as recognition for any other event.