Desire To Understand Creates Intimacy

Some people constantly criticize and incite problems. They affect their environment negatively when they talk about the mistakes and bad examples they name. They seem to lack the desire to understand others, they criticize people’s dress style, words, expressions, and even what other people don’t do. Nothing is fine unless it goes according to their minds.

However, there are also people whose gaze you can read about – instead of criticizing – curiosity and a desire to understand. These people choose to listen to you, with no ulterior motives, regardless of whether they fully understand your message or your behavior.

People who have a desire to understand others know that every person faces challenges and lives their own story true. Because of them, the world is a more beautiful place because instead of criticizing, they accept every individual as he is.

Don’t let the review affect you

Life is too short for us to focus our attention on the opinions of others, especially if they are neither helpful nor constructive. Listening to and pondering harmful criticism does not do us any good. It just gives those words the power to affect our self-esteem. Don’t let criticism from others control you.

No one enjoys listening to negative comments about themselves. In some ways, criticism tends to bring us face to face with the beliefs we have about ourselves and our behavior. That is why it easily offends us.  It is important not to swallow the bait set by people who intend to harm us. It is also essential to understand that the opinion of others about us is a reality only for them, not for ourselves.

It’s best to distance yourself from people who are constantly just criticizing. However, if you don’t, the least you can do is make it clear to yourself that  people who waste their time criticizing are wasting resources on their spiritual development.  In this imperfect world, where difference makes us unique, there is no point in defining difference as negative. The attitude  that increases our well-being is not criticism, but our desire to develop.

The skill of listening and the desire to understand build healthy relationships

When people criticize others, there are a lot of things they don’t know about that other person. Yet they assume they know that there is some latent purpose behind the other person’s behavior. The critic is blind to his own ignorance and low self-esteem when he bases his beliefs about others on his own assumptions.

To build healthy relationships, we need to put criticism aside. It may be that you may not always understand other people’s behavior, thoughts, and feelings, but if you want to understand their story and consider them as a whole, your thoughts about them will change.

Practice active listening and understanding others. Try to understand without judging them. Keep in mind that your own vision is based on your personal perspective and worldview. The other person’s views are different from yours. So:

• Listen to understand, not to answer. People who really listen also understand the meaning behind the silence. They have the freedom to make emotional connections to others through empathy, without partitions.
• Understand to find different perspectives, different realities. If you practice the skill of understanding, you will have the opportunity to learn to find different ways to see the world that complement your own worldview. You can make new discoveries and enrich your life.

No one can walk in your shoes

It has been said that no one can put himself in your shoes. It is clear that this is the truth. Your shoes are made to your size and are tailored for your personal journey. They are shaped like the rocks and mounds you have trampled on your journey. Therefore, no one can take your place. You have your own wounds, some of which have already healed, and some of them still need healing. All of these things affect how you step through your own life.

Just like you, every person has their own shoes.  It is absurd to waste our time criticizing them, for we do not even know everything they have had to go through. So let us dedicate our time to self-development and keep growing, creating healthy emotional bonds and strong connections.

Fill the sphere of influence of your relationships with people who bring something to your life. Avoid people who are just going to rob. Don’t forget that Criticism directs attention to others in order to distance them. Listening and the desire to understand, on the other hand, creates intimacy.