Discipline And Love: How To Raise A Child
When we create sharp views about how our children’s upbringing should be handled, we are losing control of the situation at the same time. This is how we move towards the extreme limit of tolerance and play with words. However, we could say that we can live a normal life simply with the child among us, instead of planning our lives around our child.
For education to be appropriate and adequate, it must meet some requirements: it must be systematic, and authority and affection must be clearly established. Systematic education is consistent, so that our words and actions go hand in hand with each other. This is the best way for our little ones to see and experience the values we want to instill in them with the natural continuum of our own actions. This is the best way to help them experience the positive consequences of embracing and internalizing these values.
By authority, we mean the ability to take control of situations with our children, acting as reliable but not infallible guides. Authority must also be protected between parents, because if one parent is somehow put in a bad light for children, this adult automatically loses his or her own authority. The dissenting views of parents must always be addressed and addressed in private, not in consultation with children.
And with tenderness we refer to the quality by which not all teachings are painful. Instead, they take into account and stimulate the senses. Discipline and love must go hand in hand in upbringing.
It is not allowed not to speak
This is one of the best slogans in the Finnish education system. Our system has created a global trend that leads to better performance in raising children both inside and outside schools.
It is forbidden not to speak in classrooms because the need to communicate is one of the basic components of every human being. Leaving it out for the sake of straightforwardness and discipline only shows the inability of teachers and parents to understand our basic nature, and therefore the nature of their children.
It is simply a matter of giving the child a turn to speak when he wants to express himself. Not in any way they want, but whenever they need it. This is fundamentally at odds with what is generally thought of as discipline, but perhaps the following should be considered in more detail: these old patterns have been repeated over and over again… Have they, however, been effective in education and training?
When we suggest that speaking should be allowed, we mean that the child has communication needs that they need to be allowed to share. It is simply a matter of defining that it is best to do this in a certain tone and at a certain time, but at the same time making sure that they understand that they are allowed to express themselves if they so wish.
Many disruptive behaviors stem from a child’s feeling that he or she has gone unnoticed, without his or her own thoughts, and under only one motive that guides his or her behavior: obedience. Let them talk, communicate and express themselves. Speaking helps them learn how to express themselves through speech instead of impulsive actions.
Rebuke privately, confirm publicly
Nothing is more stressful on a child’s self-esteem than suffering reprimands, insults, repairs, or even physical punishment in public (this latest case is subject to the obligation to report by law). In addition to making frost on their self-esteem, it is also useless in strengthening your own perspective.
