Ending A Previous Relationship Well Is A Better Starting Point For A New Relationship
Starting a new relationship means starting a new chapter in the book of life. This requires learning from the previous chapters in order to fully enjoy the next chapter. We shouldn’t get stuck in previous chapters, just like people who drive a car with the handbrake on and do so just “for safety’s sake.”
Sometimes we face fairly common problems when starting a new romantic relationship. Depending on how our previous relationships went, we are more or less cautious. We wander in the dark uncertainty of the new challenges our lives have offered us.
Far from spontaneous and natural action, falling in love becomes a risky profession. Fear takes a firm grip on our hands, whispering that we are compensating that future risks are linked to the problems of the past. It paralyzes our spontaneity as well as our enjoyment. Unfortunately, it creates a distance between us and others. It takes us to second place in a completely unfair way. Unfair to us, as well as to the new person who came into our lives.
Before we start a new chapter, let’s digest the previous chapter
Spontaneity, pleasure, and peace of mind are often buried, meaning a better place. Waiting to be picked up from where we hid them. Why? Perhaps because we have a fear of repeating the mistakes of the past. Mistakes like making the wrong choices, not being able to predict signs, or not being able to interpret them.
So you have to let time go by for that old figure to be sufficiently thawed (to the best of your ability). So that all the lessons you have learned and what you have learned are properly filtered. When we immediately move from one relationship to another, we do not allow ourselves to rest. We do not allow ourselves that rest break that our hearts need to go through. Also to understand the experiences our hearts have lived.
This is especially the case in cases where previous relationships were toxic and destructive. We need to be able to find time for ourselves to understand what that relationship was trying to teach us. Blaming another person for our responsibility never helps. That is why it is always important to talk to ourselves honestly and sincerely.
When we learn the lessons of the past, we make better decisions
We read the coming chapters in the most liberal way, without so many puzzles. Thus, people come into our lives more naturally, in a less forced way. The heart becomes calm and learns the lessons of the past. That’s when it’s willing to take part in new adventures, healthy and free.
Mistakes in our past help us learn how to choose the right person. Of course, we do not want to experience that situation again, the one that caused us to suffer in the past. It is therefore crucial to ask ourselves what kind of obligation we had in the previous experience. What are the wounds that made us choose a certain person over another as a romantic partner.
Uncertainty is a part of life and we cannot let it paralyze us
From that neat, clean, healthy place, we are better able to choose a new partner for our lives. Our attachment, dependence, or lack of it doesn’t end it. Instead, it will be the “I” of all of us, whole and healthy, who will make the decision. It chooses someone who enriches us. Someone who offers light as well as reassurance in their existence.
Learning from the lessons of the past is crucial for us to continue on the path of our lives. Uncertainty as to whether everything will turn well is something we must accept as part of our existence. But that wiser “I” appears, and everything ceases to be so chaotic.
It is good to be vigilant, as well as to have a certain respect for the future. But we also have to leave a little “swing space” for life so that it can surprise us. That is, close past chapters properly, and learn their lessons to begin new chapters with hope and surrender. This is the only way you can welcome good things to come.
