How Complaints Affect Our Brains
A friend meets another friend. Within five minutes the first is completely embarrassed and speechless after hearing the second’s complaints. Complaints about his parents, his brother, about how he doesn’t have jobs, about poor health in general, this neighbor’s lack of understanding, and the government’s seemingly haphazard actions.
There are situations in life that no doubt deserve complaints. At best, complaining can help us release the tension that the event itself has caused and accumulated. The loss of a close relative, the loss of a job due to downsizing, a divorce, or a serious illness are painful experiences that can make us feel the need to complain.
However, some people make complaining a big part of their daily routine. Moreover, they still think that all the “good people” in the world have a mere obligation to listen to the overflow of their emotions. If this does not happen, it means that others are insensitive and selfish.
Modern complaints
Living in modern times is not easy. We are constantly bombarded with news that is the most painful and disturbing. In addition, we tolerate miserable bosses and irritated, burnt-out co-workers. And this does not yet include all the personal problems to which we are exposed. These involve a pouch packed with losses, illness, and other situations that sometimes becomes suffocating.
When faced with such a set-up, we generally have two options: to analyze each situation and find the most appropriate way out, or to oppose and complain. What is worrying about the latter option is that it becomes a habit. This is a way of limiting our potential and generating negative attitudes in the people around us.
We may think that complaining is some kind of catharsis against pressure and sometimes it may work in this task. In any case, complaining can even become an unnoticed habit that we repeat like a deceptive vicious circle. It eventually turns into our automatic reaction when you get into trouble.
Sanctions in our brains
Studies show that how often and with how strong emotional intensity we complain can cause significant changes in our brains. When we experience constant frustration, the brain releases hormones such as noradrenal, cortisol, and adrenal, which eventually alter the normal functioning of this organ.
Some researchers even claim that regular exposure to complaints weakens or destroys neural connections located in the hippocampus of the brain. This is precisely the area of the brain that is responsible for finding solutions to the problems we face.
Complaining is a way to condition ourselves negatively. It is often produced by fighting other people and ends up damaging our entire family and all of our relationships. It is a state of dependence and thus a state of immaturity and passivity on the brink of problems.
What can we do?
Things will probably not always be exactly as we would like. So why get frustrated and become bitter about things that are not going to change because they are beyond our control? Wouldn’t it make more sense to maintain a slightly more flexible attitude? Adopt a more adaptive pattern of behavior that allows us to make better decisions in our own lives?
We spend a lot of energy on complaints, even though we could make better use of this energy by directing it to coping with adversity. Modifying our own behavior will always be one option.
It is true that in certain situations it is healthy to complain. We need to learn to distinguish those situations where complaining can be good and helpful to our own self-esteem.
To get over this exhausting way of complaining, it is important to start by analyzing the problems with a calm mind and assessing what can be done. We need to learn to interpret things differently. We can try to be a little less self-destructive and more proactive. We are not trying to change the world for the benefit of others. We work hard to improve ours.
Keep this in mind
There are situations where complaining becomes a conscious or unconscious means of manipulation. The culprit experiences guilt and his or her means of covering up such guilt is to evoke feelings of compassion or solidarity in others. In this way, he does not have to deal with the liability for the penalties caused by his actions.
Complaining is a state of malaise that tends to go on indefinitely. It is a state of being that causes suffering, but at the same time a kind of strange satisfaction. It is wiser for us to look for other ways to calm our own dissatisfaction and actively strive to get rid of this passive state of life.
