Is It True That You Can Never Know Another Completely?
Some situations may have made you think that it is simply impossible to ever know another completely. Maybe someone behaved in an unexpected way (in a good or bad way) or disappointed you. This can make you think that you shouldn’t assume anything about other people. But is this really true? Is it true that one can never fully know the other?
The English poet John Donne once said that “no man is an island, perfect in himself”. By this he meant that we are all part of this planet. But no matter how hard we want it to be like this, our loved ones don’t always act the way we expect or want.
Predictability feels safe for many. If you expect something from someone else, you hope he or she will do it. You want to be able to assume that your partner, family, or friends are acting in certain situations in certain situations and that you can always trust them.
Is it true that one can never fully know the other?
The truth is simply that the other can never be fully known. Not at least profoundly and with sufficient certainty so that you can settle into the world of his mind and predict with complete certainty what a person will or will not do.
This fact does not have to be a cause for concern. No one is in complete control of their own world. This is true for both things and people.
People can change (and sometimes they have to)
One reason why someone can never fully feel is that we all have the ability to change. We are all able to embrace new goals in life, move forward, mature, and even change our character in part. This is a controversial idea because many believe in personality to be established as an adult.
- But if you accept this idea, it can help prevent one disappointment after another. People change because life experiences can change them and because sometimes life brings up situations where things have to be rethought and even rebuilt.
- A study led by Nathan W. Hudson at the University of Michigan yielded interesting results. Many of us are not completely happy with our personality and therefore want to polish our true selves. This means working on uncertainties, strengthening our own identity, and changing certain traits to make us more satisfied with ourselves.
This process of change can often mean leaving certain people behind or disappointing loved ones. As we embark on that path of change, we will inevitably cause surprises for one if not another person with our decisions. We may even surprise ourselves!
The other can never be fully felt because we only see in him what we want to see
People are often heard to complain that one can never fully know the other. This usually happens after unfulfilled expectations when you feel bitter and frustrated. The truth, however, is that we all make mistakes, and nothing can be done about it. At some point, we will all disappoint our loved ones or act in a way they couldn’t expect.
But this is not the only thing that needs to be considered. In some cases, we don’t even allow anything other than the image of another person outlined in that one’s mind. We may simply push aside all the possible things we don’t want to see in another.
Some people actually end up building an image of absolute, unrealistic perfection. They assume far too much. This makes them idealize another person and expose him to this exaggerated notion of how they want to see that close person.
Finally
Lewis R. Goldberg, a well-known expert in the field of human personality research, says that personality is not always a reliable, permanent object if one wants to predict how someone will function in their lives. There are other small, unobtrusive aspects, unexpected variables that are beyond our control and that make it impossible.
So yes, it is true: one can never fully know another, not even a very close person. The best option is to just trust him. Uncertainty is simply acceptable.
As we know, nothing is certain in this world. The best thing you can do is enjoy the present and accept that life means change, uncertainty, and surprises.
