Love Is A Much Better Teacher Than Violence

This article is dedicated to all people who think “a decent slap is necessary from time to time for children to behave properly.” I say this in the language used on the streets because I have heard this in schools, playgrounds, parks and social media. I say it that way too, so that it reflects how  sad it is.

We have moved from an educational model where children were not allowed to say anything, to a model that decentralizes parents and creates chaos in relation to children. It is like the tower of Babel with relativism. Everything can be fine, or everything can be bad. It all depends on the circumstances.

However, not everything is questionable. As in any other environment  when it comes to education, there are always some boundaries that must not be crossed. One of them is  violence.

Beating is violence

“I won’t hit my baby. I only slap him every now and then to learn to behave and remember who is commanding here. ” “It actually hurts me more than him.” “I don’t like it, but sometimes I have no choice.” First, if we teach our children that violence — whatever its type — can be used to achieve a goal, then its children will also learn. 

Keep in mind that our own activities educate our children the most. There is nothing that will teach faster or better than the examples you set for your children.

They also don’t want to beat their co-workers later,  but they consider it as an option, as their parents or teachers did. In fact, they can use violence against their co-workers even if they love this. That’s when they have a bigger reason to use violence on people they don’t like, too,  right?

“Sometimes I have no choice.” This sentence links violence to frustration. By giving that slap, parents find themselves frustrated without achieving the goal in any other way. Often rage is hidden in this activity when they have to go through such a despicable situation. It is a feeling that requires a lot of energy to release it, and therefore also a stronger blow.

The slap is sad

It’s sad because it causes pain. It’s sad because it causes fear. It’s sad because it causes tears. It can even cause all three at the same time without any teaching going through. This punishment, like all other punishments, focuses on the negative, something you should never do. The slap does not speak in favor of alternative behaviors. It may teach you not to hit your friends or classmates, but  slapping doesn’t teach you how to act when faced with criticism or other negative comments.

In this way, the child may move from being beaten to threatening, discriminating, isolating, or otherwise insulting others. Thus, they always receive shouts, slaps, and blows for such behavior, and they never learn how the world should behave properly.

Defending violence as an “experience”

One of the general comments is “I was beaten, and I did just fine after all.” Fortunately, they did well in the end, “despite” certain farming methods, and not “thanks” to those farming methods. You must have had someone who taught you or someone you could observe to learn how different things were done. Someone who taught you not to use violence as part of organizing and negotiating things.

Keep in mind that the issue is this, not anything else. Fortunately, slapping doesn’t always get people traumatized. What we are trying to say is that a child can be educated without any kind of violence. But this requires more effort, more patience, more contemplation, and more time spent with children. Quality time, not just the time you have left after work, after cleaning, ironing clothes, or going to the store.

This requires us to pay attention to what they are doing, not just what transcends the boundaries of our sensitivity and is a nuisance to us. We need to pay attention to what we say to them, not just when they are behaving badly or testing our patience.

If we do this, the blows will disappear, for they are no longer necessary. We no longer need those drastic measures to straighten an overly bent tree trunk. Instead, we do this with love, with every inch of growth.

It won’t hurt anymore. Think, is there anything more beautiful than that? On top of all that, children also have their own important things…