Love Without Addiction And Anxiety

Loving without addiction is love without demands. In it, you freely and consciously give yourself to another person. You are part of a project with no losers. There is no need to give up your identity, and there is no room for narcissism. Such a relationship is possible. All you need are clear boundaries and a clear understanding of certain principles. For, how much your partner loves you, is not relevant in such a relationship. The most important thing is the way he loves you.

Before we dive deeper into this idea, we need to make clear what we mean when we talk about addiction in this context.  From an ethological point of view, humans, especially newborns, have this need. It is a powerful thing that is essential for human development. A small child is dependent on his or her guardian in many ways, and if that addiction is met and the child is given safety and necessities, he or she will develop in a healthy way.

From the perspective of a romantic relationship, addiction means something else. Clearly, we all need a secure foundation, we need to know that our partner is present for us. We want to know that we are loved, that there are commitments and agreements to strengthen our relationship. However, this concept often covers a situation full of fear and uncertainty.

Building an addiction-based relationship means that partners need each other just as a child needs their parents. They are interdependent in terms of reinforcement and nutrition as well as finding their place in the world. It is an immature love based on needs, fears and addictions.

Love without addiction

Loving without an evolving addiction is not easy. That’s because most of us are used to loving by the terms. We want a partner who adapts to us. We want him to fill the void and ease our loneliness. He is supposed to repair our broken parts and give us wings so we can fly. We want all this, but we forget the most important thing: to start with ourselves.

No one is responsible for rescuing you. No one needs to rebuild your life or make you someone you have always dreamed of being. Only you have a responsibility for it. However, we are used to giving ourselves to our partner in the hope that he will make us feel perfect. We want him to satisfy all our needs. Such psychological and spiritual dynamics are almost exclusively due to the society in which we grow up.

From a very young age, our culture creates the idea that happiness is synonymous with owning things. It only leads to a distressing spiritual reality: that we always feel like we are missing something. As a result, our entire existence is shaped around the gathering of goods and things in the hope that they will make us feel good. We develop an obsessive attachment to goods, thoughts, and people. We believe we can give meaning to our lives in this way.

Such attachment is harmful. It imprisons us forever in what we think we lack. You start to need things and people out of social and spiritual whim, not a genuine need. It is blind mechanics that leads to suffering and fear.

Is such a existence worthwhile? Of course not. Realizing it makes us build healthier relationships. In addition, we can live a happier and more fulfilling life.

How you love without addiction and anxiety

Love based on dreams and needs means loving another person the way he or she is, not the way you want him or her to be. It’s about loving another person as well as loving the sun, moon and stars. They don’t belong to you, and you don’t even want them. But you appreciate being present every day, giving you light, inspiring you, and bringing you company on your journey. Just because you can’t own them doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy them.

Let’s now look at some methods to love without affection and to have an independent relationship.

Make a statement. Start with yourself!

• Declare yourself spiritually free. Understand that you don’t need anyone to be happy. You should be able to be happy with yourself. You should identify yourself as valuable and relevant.
• Declare that you are not attached. Free yourself from the fear of being rejected. Free yourself from the anxiety and worry that you may end up alone. Remove all your ties (thoughts, plans, inherited misconceptions…) one by one. Be able to give yourself to someone else. Not out of necessity, not to fill emptiness, but for freedom.

Love without addiction or need

• Remember that poisoned love does not only refer to the obsessive need to “own” another person. It is also an inability to give up that person when the bond is harmful.

• Loving is that you are well aware of what “love without borders” means. It means suffering, jealousy, mental chaos, low self-esteem and addiction.
• Loving is about investing in personal growth and the growth of your loved one. It is giving space to being. That in turn enriches the relationship.

Likewise, you should be able to build a relationship based on freedom. It should be free of anxiety and uncertainty. These are ties that do not involve an obsessive need. Instead, there is strength and generosity in the relationship. This is because of trust and common understanding. You know you are loved, so you can let another person be at peace.

I trust the person who chose me. He loves me as I am and is not with me just to keep the ghosts of loneliness away…