New Beginning, New Smile

Hey,

I will write this to you to tell you that I will leave you. I guess you’ve already guessed I’ve met someone. That someone is me. I’m going to give myself a chance because I really feel I deserve it.

I’ve been by your side for much longer than I even should have and you need to be aware of that. You gut out of my mouth mere empty promises. I waited far too many years, longing for hugs and expressions of affection, which you never gave me, however.

Why have you treated me this way? We had a wonderful, promising future ahead of us. Can you tell me what you are so afraid of so much? That’s me. Your desire, your enthusiasm, your desire for life.

I could almost have sworn your soul smiled when you thought of me.

All those countless sunrises, trips and opportunities have now echoed from us. Our time together is over and… nothing. Now all that remains is a feeling of emptiness. So I have decided to detach myself now and from now on I am only responsible for myself and achieving my own goals in my life. I’m here for something and it’s certainly not because I would let the flag of my life pass me by.

There was a time when rainy afternoons made you think of me, smile broadly, and make millions of plans for our common future. On Mondays, when you woke up early to study or go to work, you told me,  “With you to the end of the world.” And I foolishly believed it all every single time.

Of course, if I had to choose a certain time to be by your side, it would be summer, of course. I could see life on your face! During the first week of the summer, you literally glowed with passion, you never left me in the sun or shade and we had an absolutely awesome and intense romance overall.

But later… later you left me alone to cry inconsolable. You forgot again and started giving life a ticket past you again. Day after day. How extremely boring!

The beginning of the new year also brought us new promises. You filled every corner of our home with new projects.  Our days were numbered, our lives in the middle of paradise. But deep in my heart, I always hoped and always believed that you would start to glow with passion again and tear my clothes off with my teeth.

Why am I leaving now? 

Because I have already lived long, far too long, chained to the  “prison of tomorrow,”  some of my suffering and the pain of living together has somehow now “clicked” into my head and now I was finally able to press the right button.

Therefore, there is now a new and clean beginning and a new smile ahead.  I woke up one day and after thinking for a long time what I would put on, I ended up wearing a smile. It’s my happiness, my outright evening gown.

We have experienced tremendously together. But time has passed and we have still not defined our relationship.

You know,  I’m not just some new toy you can add to your collection. Life is for living, for overcoming obstacles, and for sharing dreams and goals. You did not come into this world to complain and let every opportunity in your path fly past you.

Your strength, your dreams… and I have always been with you. Our relationship never disappointed you, but we are just unfit to live together. We should act instead of just talking about it.

We shouted at you every single day every single month and every single year. Hey, we’re here, come find us when you wake up! And you were always just tired or otherwise bothered to go along. And so the hope that kept me tightly by your side gradually began to shed away…

I’ve never given up in the middle of it all, even though I guess I was wrong in trusting you to keep me with you forever. I have fallen, I have suffered and I have cried. And all this just because I was by your side.

Now my patience is gone. From this day on, I am determined to live.  Smile just as if there were no tomorrow. The last thing I would like to happen is that you would be sad – this is the best solution for both of us.

Simply put, this whole situation has made me feel so small, which means now is the time to grow. Promise me you will learn to fly with your own wings. I will now give you the best possible reason to use your wings. That’s the reason you are !!!

Signed: Enthusiastic about life

Photos: Natilles