Older Siblings: Somewhere Between Fun And Role Model
Changes in family dynamics are big things. Schedules, meals, fun. What about when parents change focus and share homework and responsibilities? Those who have experienced being an older sibling know what we are talking about. It’s important to think about all of this from the perspective of a child around the age of 8-10.
It is during this time, at the age of 8-10, that children become aware that they can feel two emotions at the same time. A sense of anger because someone just came and displaced them, but also a sense of joy because the same event has positive effects.
Parents should respect children’s emotional insecurity. The secret is to explain these conflicting feelings and make sure they know you understand them.
Somewhere between fun and role model
For parents, the challenge seems to be to raise another family member. However, there is another challenge: readjusting the expectations and responsibilities of the firstborn.
It’s an awkward balance that often makes the life of an older sibling more difficult. The feeling that he is no longer the only child can lead him in two different directions – indifference or over-responsibility – both with equally threatening consequences.
For example, older siblings may be too immersed in caring for their little sibling. They may even begin to play the role of father or mother when they are away and possibly compete with parents when they are not present.
But it could turn into excessive pressure and make them feel like they shouldn’t be making mistakes. Older siblings should adapt to their new role and be given responsibility within their age. That is the job of the parents.
The bond between siblings
“How did his siblings take it?” asked when a new baby arrives in the family. Older siblings may start to get annoyed, be nervous, jealous, or angry… Routines and habits that are so important to children’s structure and mental and academic development make a sharp turn and need to be rebuilt.
Despite all the responsibilities of being the eldest sibling, it also has a positive side: fun, fulfillment, happiness. There is nothing better than being an accomplice. It is an indescribable bond. Sharing secrets, unraveling each other, experiencing new things together… it’s all part of what it means to have a younger sibling.
Sowing the seed of trust and love is important. It will grow into a fraternal or sibling feeling and it will grow bigger than just a blood bond. The relationship may change over the years. As they grow, their bond changes.
What is important is that little by little the age difference becomes less important and the siblings also become friends.
