People Who Know How To Please Right Out Of The Box – Magic Or Skill?

There are people who please others at first sight. It’s hard to know what’s charming about them, but their company in our black and white world is the kind of little spot of color that attracts, cheers, and blends into life. Science says this may be due to their smile, attitude, or good smell, but for many, their natural nature is more magical and something that is hard to explain.

It is possible that the name Dale Carnegie is unfamiliar to you. This enterprising and prolific author from the 1930s laid the foundation for all the self-help publications that today fill the shelves of our bookstores. One of his best-known and best-selling works is without a doubt “

This book first addressed one of the most important aspirations of people (whether we like it or not) to know, “How to please people?” From the 1930s to the present day, interest in this branch of psychology has grown all the time. In fact, even in the field of business consulting today, every self-esteemed professional needs to be able to train their clients to use these important basic tools that allow companies to give a positive image of themselves in their social environment.

Most interesting, however, is that some people already have this trait at birth. They have a natural ability to create a relationship with the people around them almost instantly by evoking positive, safe and confidential feelings in others. This magical, spontaneous, and fruitful spark is like an invisible diamond that every good leader, for example, would like to own in order to attract more people.

Surely every person with weak or deficient social skills would like to be able to develop this tool to be able to enjoy interacting with others, make more friends, find a life partner and most importantly, achieve better self-confidence. We are clearly on the brink of a broad psychological idea whose charm to personal development deserves more detailed analysis.

People who know how to please naturally without company

We all know that the desire to please everyone is an inexhaustible source of suffering. It doesn’t make sense, neither helpful nor healthy. However, there are people who can easily or pretend to be able to connect with nearly 80% of the people they meet on a daily basis.

Many might well say that the secret lies behind physical beauty. Nonetheless, those who choose ads or slogans for NGOs are well aware that there is something more than just what appears on top, something that occurs in non-verbal communication and is what many call the “art of softness”. In other words, it is the ability to show an open and satisfied attitude that makes it easier to approach people in a friendly, safe and efficient way.

Let’s now look at what other dimensions these people have that are easy to please people without pretending.

A sincere “Duchenne” smile

We are all capable of making a smile. We are able to create for people the most subtle and eye-catching smile of all, even if it is a lie.

Nevertheless, there is a smile that is hard to pretend and is considered the embodiment of authenticity, namely the “Duchenne” smile. 

• It is said that the “Duchenne” smile conquers by nature, inspires trust and is like a pillar of social interaction.
• Its expression results from the contraction of large and small zygomatic muscles near the mouth. Mouth gestures and eye corners rise. A smile also causes muscle contraction, which raises the cheekbones and causes small wrinkles in the corners of the eyes.

The most charming feature of all is humility

There are many factors that cause immediate tension between people. No doubt this happens when we meet a person who starts talking about their own life, criticizing absent third parties recklessly, too jokingly, and abusing the personal pronoun “I”.

We have all experienced it at least once. At the other extreme, on the other hand, are those people who, without effort, achieve everything that,  through their natural humility, makes us like them in seconds, in the blink of an eye we have been drawn to new dimensions where we have been able to create this magical and special bond.

Humble people know how to take other people into account and show interest in them, listen and make fellow people feel comfortable with the subject of their warm gazes. 

• We mentioned a moment ago that people who tend to know how to please others are engaged in the “art of softness”. By being open, they are able to show us that they are trusted listeners so it is easy for us to open up naturally and comfortably.
• There is nothing to suggest in their attitudes or sign language. They do not dictate, and there is no rigidity in their communication, but mere openness and warmth.
• What they have in common is that they do not choose, dictate or criticize, but their behavior is always invariably humble.

While there are indeed an infinite number of people in the world who already have these star skills recorded on their own “hard drive,” it’s good to mention that these qualities can also be practiced. Nor is it necessary to please everyone, but it would be better to identify certain people we want to please.

That is why it is good to work on these dimensions on a daily basis, because it goes without saying that it will help us gain appreciation and admiration and settle in the hearts of the people who are important to us.