Perfectionism Leads To Unhappiness

Have you ever been dealing with a perfectionist? Probably yes. Perfectionists can be found in both men and women, regardless of age. The behavior of perfectionists may seem interesting and sometimes amusing. A perfectionist wants to accomplish every task perfectly, and he places tough demands on himself and others. This covers working life, leisure, interpersonal relationships and hobbies. Everything should be in place and right.

The perfectionist wants the coffee mug’s ear to point in a certain direction when making a table setting. There must be no food crumbs on the kitchen floor, everything must be spotless. A perfectionist cannot stand mess or disorganization because it represents chaos for them.

Why am I a perfectionist?

There are many reasons for how and why a person develops a perfectionist character. Perfectionism is often seen as a syndrome, as it can be a burden on the person himself and those close to him. Harmful perfectionism can make life distressing when the pursuit of perfection applies to every task and moment.

According to experts, the development of a perfectionist attitude may be due to genetic considerations. According to others, perfectionism can arise from the influence of the environment:

• The perfectionist’s self-confidence depends on constant praise.
• Perfectionists have been humiliated in childhood and they want to be accepted in social situations.
• The perfectionist’s parents were demanding and authoritarian.
• The perfectionist grew up in an environment where all people were successful and they themselves have not succeeded in achieving similar success.

• A perfectionist cannot stand failure and is afraid of making mistakes.
• The perfectionist thinks society is very competitive.

From birth, we are exposed to constant stimuli that shape us and make us the person we become. While we may not think about it, we are constantly under the influence of the environment and experiencing the situations mentioned above changes people.

In today’s society, there is a high desire to perform and be better than others. The rules, norms, tendencies, and outlook on life of society lead us in a certain direction. Failure is a disgraceful place, and people are always encouraged to do their best, to be better, to do more. Society gives us the idea that success is the key to happiness. But how can we live under such pressure? At this point, the perfectionist attitude becomes problematic.

Perfection doesn’t make me better

Even if you’re always right, you do things well, and you don’t deviate from the path, it doesn’t make you a better person. Understand that the more you try to be a perfect person, the less you really are perfect.

People are not perfect. People are not machines that do not make mistakes. We have to accept our shortcomings and faults, because we cannot get rid of them, at least not completely, and we do not need to. Flaws make us just the unique, lovable and capable person we are. When we accept our shortcomings, we can find true happiness. If we force ourselves into a certain mold and try to pursue impossible ideals, we become unhappy. We only cause ourselves stress and frustration.

What is daily life like as a perfectionist? The perfectionist constantly suffers from low self-confidence, and not even the praise of others makes them feel better.

There are two qualities of perfectionism: good and harmful. A person may be ambitious and demand a lot from himself, but still realizes that he is valuable even without perfect accomplishments.

The self-esteem of a person suffering from harmful perfectionism, on the other hand, is completely dependent on test numbers, sports performance and what he achieves at work. The sufferer of harmful perfectionism sets himself such a high standard that it is impossible to achieve. When goals are not met, the perfectionist feels failed.

Self-accusations, pessimism, and obsessive thoughts describe the perfectionist’s inner world. A perfectionist never achieves what he wants, for perfection is an impossible goal. This can lead to depression, as waves of constant disappointment and frustration are hard to bear.

A perfectionist cannot be a drop or be spontaneous. Perfectionism leads to compulsive performance where goals cause stress and satisfaction from the action itself is lacking. Harmful perfectionism involves fear of mistakes, constant doubt of one’s own performance, and fear of criticism from others.

Perfectionism can also be overcome, as long as man himself recognizes that a perfectionist attitude does not bring satisfaction or happiness. When a person realizes that he has a problem, he is able to change his attitude or seek help. Sometimes a perfectionist has to change jobs or make other major changes in his or her life to get rid of the constant pressure of performance.

Self-development is a good goal in itself, but the pursuit of perfection is futile.  Accept all your shortcomings, for everyone has them. Don’t be obsessed with things you can never achieve.