Smart Ears For Incomprehensible Words

As they say, “ what Jussi says about Pekka says more about Jussi than about Pekka ”. So before we value these “ tips,” “assessments,” or “critiques ” that don’t offer us kindness, usefulness, or truth, we need to consider the intentions of the person saying them.

Smart ears to critics

There is no better and clearer sign of emotional poverty  than constant and malicious criticism. Constantly having to deal with incomprehensible words usually causes great emotional exhaustion.

So to protect and nurture the intelligence of our own ears, it should be clear to us that:

• We don’t need anyone’s opinion to live.
• Our movements and emotions are always valid  and we should not be ashamed of them.
• We need to get rid of the fear of feeling and thinking for ourselves .
• We should avoid acknowledging the absolute expressions we hear (for example,  those  “never” and  “always” ).
• Constantly  listening to criticism and gossip can saturate us and make us feel really bad.
• We must not forget that everyone must be respected. Leading by good example helps us ensure our own level of emotional well-being.
• Remember that unfounded criticism is given by people who suffer from immense emotional poverty. People like this live in isolation in their own bitterness and also try to convince us to be emotionally selfish and alienate ourselves.

People who are at peace with themselves do not speak evil to others

The second step to forming a protective shield and achieving smart ears is to learn to recognize expressions that are seemingly innocent but hide ugly intentions beneath them.

Such phrases are clearly toxic in certain contexts:

• When you talk about a hobby or a common skill, “ I wish I had time for it”  usually means the same as “ You don’t have as much work as I do ,” “ Free time is impossible for me, I’m not a lazy person. “
• “ It’s obvious ,” “ As everyone knows “. No no and no. Not everyone knows, nor is it obvious. The purpose of these types of petitions is to try to make another person feel stupid and make its words feel superior to their listeners.
• ” You have no right to say anything because you don’t know these things the way I do .” They can’t deprive us of our right to speak or show us wrong by nullifying our opinions with statements like “ your claims are stupid and have no basis. “
• ” If my teacher says so, then it’s true .” These types of erroneous inferences take advantage of the respect that an expert has to give to certain claims in the form of weight.

• ” You make me feel awful .” Appealing to emotions and making other people feel responsible for them is one way to manipulate. Moreover, such expressions try to excite people, rather than provide valid claims.
• ” Go where you want, but I’m not going there .” To conclude this sentence, it would be appropriate to add, ” And you should feel guilty that I am not going because you are selfish and think only of yourself .” We make it clear, don’t we?

We need to take the time to heal ourselves and create smart ears for ourselves.  This helps us maintain a healthy attitude toward life and build our relationships on good communication and better understanding.