Some Attitudes Distance People More Than Distances

Some attitudes keep people apart even more than the big icy ocean. It doesn’t matter if the attitude comes from some family member we live with or a co-worker we see every day. Their cold attitudes, inflexible thoughts, and unwavering beliefs build psychic walls and traps that are highly harmful.

As we often say, the most important thing in our relationships – even more important than words – is our attitude. In psychology, only a few things are as fundamental but interesting as what shapes people’s attitudes.

As U.S. scientist Louis Leon Thurstone once said, our attitudes are like a chaotic mix of prejudices, fears, evaluations, and tendencies to act in a certain way. Attitudes can either make life happy or, conversely, lead to an existential problem where one sees more conflicts than opportunities in one’s daily life.

In fact, the following is something we come across every day. There are always people who, through their attitudes and subsequent ways of thinking and acting, either greatly promote or hinder people’s coexistence. Certain mental tendencies are expressed in social contexts and no one is immune to them. On top of all this, sometimes these tendencies can sow the seeds of dissatisfaction that grow into complete conflict.

Different attitudes that we should know

Viktor Frankl once said that ” Everything can be taken away from man except one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any circumstances, to choose one’s own path.” From this we can conclude that only a few tools are as essential and effective as utilizing one’s own attitude wisely. With this in mind, we should focus on being constructive, flexible and healthy in order to cope better in this complex and sometimes even contradictory world.

It is important to know that attitudes are learned. In childhood, we often “suck” unnoticed many of our values, interpretations, and beliefs from our families. Even so, there usually comes a time when we try to change. We begin to do so because our own experiences and interactions with other people in numerous social settings make us re-evaluate the ideas we are taught.

Attitudes: good, bad and ugly

As we have already said, attitudes can sometimes be the cause of conflict and distance between people. And it can even be insurmountable. This may be because sometimes people have a defensive attitude, while others strongly oppose change and base their interactions on prejudice. And some, of course, live in a world based solely on their own narcissism and selfishness.

Let’s now look at the attitudes we can see in our daily lives:

• Generous and peace-promoting attitudes. These are the most positive attitudes and the ones that make life easier together. They are based on availability, open mind, acceptance and love. Such a person always strives for the common good.
• Manipulative attitudes. In these cases, it is a person who seeks only one thing: to gain personal gain. There is deception in every action and word of his to achieve that goal.
• Self-centered attitudes. Some people have deficiencies or certain needs. For this reason, their every action is based on meeting those needs. Often they do this by seeking the attention of others or pretending to be a victim.
• Hostile attitudes. Such people want to draw boundaries between themselves and others, letting their prejudices guide them. They often have hostile beliefs that cause problems.

Four attitudes we need to be happier

Positive psychology reminds us that happiness depends on several different factors. One of these is genetics, the other is the personal situation (social context, education, work, relationships, health…) and the last – the one that is considered the most important of these – is, of course, our attitude.

So here’s a little to think about. Let’s explore the attitudes we should incorporate into our lives to bring about change. They are:

• Embrace a more positive perspective on other people’s behavior. Understand that others cannot always behave the way you want. For this reason, we should value them exactly as they are and focus more on how we can improve ourselves.
• Create a more positive view of the future and what will happen. Try to trust yourself and what tomorrow has in store for you.
• Stop being obsessed with what you need to be happy. Often what you really need can be found inside you.
• Develop better self-confidence. Make yourself the hero of your own life, because in the end you are the person who is responsible for your own happiness.

Finally, we saw how exploring attitudes is both diverse and rewarding. While it is true that sometimes it can be incredibly difficult to live with people who are hostile or difficult in their attitudes, the key is always to protect their own attitudes.

For in the end, it is our attitudes that make us awesome and that help us achieve happiness.