Sometimes The Best People Come To Life Unnoticed

Sometimes the best people show up in our lives without looking, like from scratch. They will plant flowers in our mourning garden and be the echo of our laughter. They are people we believe in and share our passions with. They are like an unquenchable lighthouse, without contradictions, pressures or ulterior motives…

Neuropsychologists often remind us that our brains are programmed to work for others. Activities like altruism, helping other people, or giving support are things we consider genetically significant and important, because in the end, they guarantee the survival of our species.

But and here comes probably the greatest contradiction or irony of humanity sometimes we act as predators towards our own speciesmates. We don’t just mean those extreme behaviors that get to the front page of the news, but mostly the very ordinary deeds we’ve all experienced at some point and where the classic “ I want you to be happy, but no more than I do.”

Sometimes there are ulterior motives behind altruism, we know it quite well. Sometimes people betray us, we know that too. Maybe it’s because time changes us or because our masks fall piece by piece and we realize that under that armor that fascinated us so much at the beginning, it’s nothing more than a man full of emptiness, numerous limitations and bottomless selfishness.

In spite of all this, the variegated and complex crowd can accommodate individuals who are not just worth the effort; they are worthy of happiness. Finding them is always lucky, but it also includes a few aspects that are worth considering…

The best people exist, you just have to learn to notice them

What are the character traits of those women and men who can make our lives better? What are good people basically like? We know that we often say phrases like “my coworker is a bad person” or “my sister is a really good person.” Such highly reduced definitions are not always sufficient, as human nature is much more complex than those very absolute terms.

Most of us are people who are sometimes able to act in a less right way. Sometimes we can easily be judged as “bad people” just because we don’t act like people want or expect us to act. But keep in mind that there are a number of key factors or dimensions that describe those most noble people and that basically represent the ideal of goodness that we all have in our minds.

Goodness is, above all, a lack of selfishness. It means identifying with other people, feeling compassion, acting selflessly, and having the capacity for empathy that provides protection, understanding support, and genuine intimacy. So a good person is also able to look below the surface, just behind the outer shell.

On the other hand – and this is just as important – there is one factor that cannot be ignored: these magical people only come into our lives if we are receptive. So they do it if we are able to perceive them, appreciate their impact, skills, and innate ability to connect with others. However, experts in social behavior have found that we have come to the point where we pay more attention to bad qualities than good ones.

This negative attitude is sometimes due to our own discomfort, our own frustration,  or even the memory we have left of our failed and disappointing relationships. We become skeptical, and when this veil of doubt covers our eyes and entangles our hearts, it is very difficult for us to be able to see the warm light of these people that would really be worth incorporating into our own lives.

Tips for identifying people who are worth the effort (and happiness)

All of us make quick assessments every day of the people around us. Dr. Rick Hanson, a renowned neuropsychologist and researcher of the “science of happiness,” explains that in order to be able to connect more deeply with fellow human beings and thus discover the innate goodness that lies within many people, we need to stop, slow down and interpret those positive intentions, which the most special people have.

Here are some simple tips to help you interpret other people:

• Nonverbal Language: We often recognize empathy for faces and eyes that not only look but also observe, consider, and know how to connect with others, making us feel comfortable, safe, and valued.

• Another factor is definitely our own intuition. Our inner voice should always guide us on this path of discovery. Our intuition includes the essence of our personality, the knowledge we receive from our past experiences, and the sixth sense that urges us to strive to connect with some people and avoid others. Don’t be afraid to listen to your inner voice.
• Emotional energy. This dimension is as strange as it is powerful, but nonetheless it is necessary to identify it in itself and analyze it. Some people cause a special “emotional load” within us through their tone of voice, gaze, or smile so that it speaks to us…

This feeling that some people cause within us is something we should pay attention to and analyze (does he feel good? Does he make me feel calm and harmonious? Can I really trust him?…). Sometimes that connection is immediate. Sometimes, on the other hand, it has a different rhythm, slower and more intentional, but just as powerful. It’s like an interesting treasure we find every day, usually from introverted people.

In any case, these special people who make our lives more beautiful and interesting are special gifts that we all deserve and that, above all, we have a duty to care for. So doing so, always giving the best of ourselves to these special people who illuminate each of our days.