Stop Living Your Life For Others

If we put together every thought that goes through our heads in one day, it would be an almost impossible task. Every person thinks nearly 70,000 thoughts every day, and most of them relate to our needs and actions.

Our own happiness, pleasure, and problems are the things we spend the most time thinking about. So we thought a lot about ourselves. It may be that much of the thought also concerns loved ones: family, friends, and spouse. You may spend your time thinking about common plans, conflicts, and the actions and words of others.

What happens when we dedicate more time to others than to ourselves

Sometimes all our thoughts are about other people and things that are happening around us. We leave ourselves in second place when we worry and take care of others. Parents in particular may notice this in themselves when a child experiences adversity or encounters problems: a parent always puts their child at the forefront of their thoughts.

Sometimes our own minds and our own brains can suffer from the fact that there is no more room for personal problems and thoughts in a full crowded brain. If we think a lot about things that have nothing to do with us or that we can’t influence, the brain becomes anxious.

Negative thoughts and feelings are often directed at my own self: “Was I misunderstood now?” “It’s my fault, I should have behaved differently,” or “I’m selfish when I can’t offer my help whenever it’s asked.” Such thoughts sometimes make us feel miserable, and they are often related to other people and their expectations.

Lessons from childhood

Throughout our lives, especially in childhood, we are exposed to educational messages such as “you have to share with others” or “be kind and good to others” or “be comfortable and make others happy.”

We are fed these messages from an early age and form the basis of our values ​​and beliefs that follow us throughout life. In adulthood, following these guidelines becomes significantly more difficult.

The above examples are not requests, they are instructions. They force us to behave in a certain way. We are no longer children. We change quickly and our opinions change too, independence is important, as is free thinking. We argue, we disagree on things, and we argue on other things. We decide for ourselves what is good for us, parents no longer do it. The teachings of childhood may no longer work in adulthood. It doesn’t have to be nice for everyone, and you don’t have to like all the encounters of your people.

The things parents teach their children often emphasize kindness and good behavior, adaptability, and obedience. In real life, these abilities have a place, but sometimes you have to be confident, ignore the rules, and follow your own path: how else would new inventions, groundbreaking research, and new knowledge be created? The guidance of the lesser leaves very little room for healthy selfishness. What is meant by selfishness, kindness, and obedience varies from family to family.

Selfishness can be difficult to define. Is selfishness good or bad? What is healthy selfishness?

Think of yourself, be yourself a priority

The ancient Romans used the word “selfish” to describe self-realization, self-being. Each of us has our own understanding of what selfishness means, and we often classify it as good and evil.

Sometimes you may feel badly selfish and feel a bad conscience. You may punish yourself when you feel you have behaved selfishly. Sometimes we become a prisoner of our own logic when we blame our own behavior and look for faults in it. In the end, we end up wasting a lot of time, energy, and resources on people who have no positive benefit to us in life just a sense of guilt or responsibility. We fear being selfish if we inject a negative interpersonal relationship. We fear the consequences of selfishness. We dare not leave the path we think we have created for ourselves.

As you examine these posts calmly and calmly, you can see where you went wrong. You need time for yourself, you deserve to be happy and think of yourself before others. You don’t always have to share yours with others.

Healthy selfishness is good. Healthy selfishness means that you love and appreciate yourself.