To Forget You Have To Remember
Everyone is trying to forget past events, but in order for us to close the door, that pain must be remembered. Before you completely forget what happened, you need to adjust it to your life, with all the benefits it brought to your life.
Every process we go through in our lives points to change, and it involves doing all sorts of painful things. Change involves loss, goodbye, pain, and resignation. It feels almost natural to try to avoid it and leave it out of the story, but this will only drown you in suffering as you try to fight an already lost struggle.
It must be borne in mind that pain is a part of life and plays an important role in our personal growth. Pain not only helps us change and accept the essential, but it also prepares us to incorporate new valuable and meaningful experiences into our lives.
Forgive instead of forgetting
Forgiveness puts to rest constant contention, contempt, accusation, and resentment. With forgiveness comes approval that closes the door on pain. This is common when the heart breaks; people try to forget before they forgive, and this prolongs the toxic pain.
Forgiveness requires acceptance so we can learn from experience and incorporate it into our own personal development. It is a process that brings you closer to peace and a clear conscience. The path to forgiveness is comparable to love, for you need love to forgive.
You’ve probably heard this famous saying more than once: time will heal everything. However, this is not true, for time itself does not cure anything, but what you do with time that helps you mature, learn, and grow internally to resolve your conflicts and difficulties.
Goodbye learning
Saying goodbye is essential in life. You have to say many significant goodbyes, both to people (differences, moves, death, etc.) and circumstances (jobs, health, diagnosis of illness, unfulfilled expectations, end of stages, growing up and moving out of children).
Every step you go through leaves you behind things you can’t get back. We need to be able to change to move forward. So we learn to say goodbye, knowing that every meaningful interaction has left its mark on who we are today.
In painful times, especially when a situation involves a partner, it is better not to have things in sight that resemble this person. This way, it is easier to move forward. Once you get over the pain, you will realize that the memories of this person will no longer affect you and will not confuse your feelings.
Live in the moment without forgetting the past
One of the main principles of well-being has to do with how you face the moment. The past cannot be changed, controlled or modified. The only thing you can control is your own attitude towards how you face your past in the moment.
Your job is not to forget the past, or the people who were important to you, but rather to incorporate all of these experiences into this moment and learn from them.
Being aware of who you have been and what you have experienced, both good and bad things, will allow you to know better what you want now. Your vision will be brighter and wiser as you incorporate all of your experience into this moment.
